even on my weakest day, I get a little bit stronger....

I got the phone call today that I was dreading. I didn't ovulate, like I thought I did. My levels are very low so there is no way that I could be pregnant. I had been thinking for the past few weeks, about taking a breather from all this. So we have decided through the holidays we are not going to take infertility meds. I honestly feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The first time we discussed this, I felt like we were giving up. I hated feeling like I had been defeated but I have learned that we are not giving up. We are just taking time to prepare for a sweet baby that we know God will bless us with. Sometimes you have to be strong enough to let go, and that is where I am right now. I know that if we do not try treatments and see specialist  and never conceive I would regret it the rest of my life but I also know that if I do not step away from the situation for a few months and gather my thoughts that one day I will regret spending my newlywed years obsessed with having a child. Before the infertility it was just me and Heath, and in the end I am content with that. I want nothing more than to have a child, but my marriage is just as important if not more than conceiving. I have such a wonderful husband who has never once not wanted to try any of these treatments and he continues to be supportive and always tells me its my choice, my body. I am so thankful to have the support group that I do. I do have the say it felt nice to throw those stupid ovulation test away.. Gah I'm such a rebel... HAHA. I would appreciate every ones prayers for the next 2 months for God to lead us in the direction that he feels fit for our lives. I do think we will continue were we left off, but I am just not sure how soon.