Friday, April 12, 2013

I will wait for you...

It has been a few weeks since I have time to post but I finally have a little mommy time tonight so here goes! ;)

I do a lot of my soul searching while driving. Sometimes I have the radio blasting and sometimes it is completely silent. A few weeks ago I was driving down 42, it is a long country road. I was listening to Mumford and Sons " I will wait, I will wait for you" and singing along. All day I had been thinking of how I wanted Gunner to have siblings and how my whole life I had planned every little detail of how many children, how close in age etc. Well lets just be real... the chances of us birthing Gunner a sibling is slim to none and adoption is not an easy task. Yes it can be done but it is quite pricey and we were just unbelievably blessed the first go around. I was getting sadder and sadder allowing the devil to steal my joy. I promise God spoke to me through song. I was singing and as I said the words " I will wait for you" God reminded me of how we waited for Gunner and how it payed off. It was like he was telling me, be still child, I will provide the desires of your heart. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God WILL provide Gunner with brothers and or sisters. I will be a mother again and what a joyful day that will be. So all this is said because today I was driving down 42 again.. this road must be my portal to God ;)... I was in complete silence. I got to thinking of how we have a gender reveal party for my sis-in-law this weekend. I am all about honesty and I am gonna give it straight.. I was a little jealous in my thoughts. I kept thinking, we should be trying for a baby now with the age Gunner is if my plans had played out. I always wanted to have my babies close in age. All of my friends constantly talk about when they will try for more, or how long they want to wait. It is sometimes akward because we don't really have that option. Of course people innocently ask now, " When do you want another one"? Well obviously anytime, we will take what we can get! I was just thinking of how I wanted Gunner to have a buddy close to his age, a little sister to take care of or a little brother to show how to play ball or camp out. Immediately God spoke to me again... I realized my plans may not have panned out but God did the next best thing. He is giving Gunner a little cousin in September. That will be like a sibling to Gunner. God did answer my prayer, he is giving a beautiful baby to wonderful parents and Gunner a best friend. See sometimes plans don't work out the way we orignally want but they always work out best in Gods timing. What I am trying to say is, God has a wonderful plan if we will just accept it and go along for the ride things always make more sense in rewind. I am so thankful that even when I am down or not so optimistic God picks me up and shows me a different light. None the less we are so greatful for our sweet baby and if that is the only baby in our little family he is plenty, our hearts are full! That child has brought more smiles, laughter, and love to my life than I will ever be able to explain.

1 comment:

  1. Hey there. I stumbled across your page while looking for a Bible verse. This made me tear up! How God delivers his messages to us is always an amazing thing to hear. I'm glad you have the road to drive on. My "portal" seems to be writing my thoughts out on wishes for you and yours!